I’ve tried writing this post more than once, struggling to find the right words and to open my heart. Yet I know that this story needs to be told. God’s protection needs to be honoured. And although I might be gripped by the fear of sending this into the interweb, I was not saved and protected to remain quiet.
About 4 months ago I was high-jacked and kidnapped by 2 men. And no, this wasn’t in some dodgy street or late at night or any other scenario where I was being negligent. No, I was abducted from within the security complex where I lived, with my own car. I was attacked from where I “safely” parked my car behind security gates during daylight, for anyone to see, yet no one realised.
I woke up that morning with Hillsong United’s “Oceans” stuck in my head. Being one of my all-time favourites, I know the song off by heart, yet that morning I seemed to have forgotten all the lyrics bar the bridge:
“Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters, wherever You would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Saviour”
I’ve always been infatuated with the sea. The vastness and infinity thereof makes me feel so incredibly small and yet perfectly loved. Looking at it reminds me that, even though I’m so small and insignificant compared to the body of water, I was chosen. God made me and took time to form me perfectly according to His plan.
Back to the kidnapping and some background on it:
I was approached by the attackers as I was parking my car and about to get out of it. I instantaneously knew what was happening and instinctively started praying out loud. The prayer poured out of me in tongues, and I’m not sure what I said or asked, but was immediately told that there is no need to pray as “no one cares anyway”. I was also instructed to scoot over to the passenger side while the men got in and drove off.
For the first time in my life, I realised what it feels like to not be in control. Here I was, the passenger of someone who doesn’t care about what happens to me. That was when the “Oceans” extract that I was singing the whole day, came back to me. I was in a storm, but contrast to the gale wind and waves scratching the surface of the water, I was in the deep down where everything was completely calm. I had no control, and I was sure that my driver wasn’t completely either, yet I needed to trust that God was in control.
When the guys got into the car, I decided to look them in the eyes (which apparently is a big no-no) to show that I have no hatred or judgement in my heart towards them. I kept thinking that no one who has ever felt unconditional love would be doing what they were busy doing. They could not know the unrestricted and unconditional love of parents, family and friends. I’ve always known that, no matter the circumstances, my loved ones will always come to my rescue. These guys surely didn’t know that. At least, in my mind, that was a logical reason for their actions.
So I started asking about their living situations and the circumstances that they grew up in. I tried to tell them that they could choose to alter their future at any given moment and that no one is defined by their past. I would love to say that the responses were earnest and true, yet I can’t help but believe that somehow it was.
Long story short, the driver stopped in the middle of a main road and told me to get out of the car. His partner wasn’t too happy about this and tried to persuade the driver to not let me go. As I was about to get out, the driver said “I’ve done a lot of bad things to girls, but I’m not going to hurt you. There is something different about you”
The Lord was not driving the car, yet I knew that He was in control. Completely. You can never anticipate how you will react in life-threatening circumstances. I was calm, brave and even a bit courageous.
“Be strong, courageous, and firm; fear not nor be in terror before them, for it is the Lord your God Who goes with you; He will not fail you or forsake you” Deuteronomy 31:6, AMP
Robbed of fearlessness and boldness, God made me strong and covered me in His love. I felt the love of strangers, great police officers, supportive friends, a loving family and an amazing man.